Turkey 1 Mobil 0...

This morning as part of an 80 mile bike effort this week I set out on an 18 mile ride from Dawson to Perryopolis roundtrip along “the Yough”. Yesterday I had done an 11 mile trip from Dawson to Connellsville roundtrip, the first leg of which was the steepest grade on the trail.
By 9:00 am I had completed the first 9 miles and had turned around and was headed back toward Dawson. After about half a mile I encountered on the trail two large wild turkeys with two ‘baby turkeys”. As they moved to one side of the trail I left the limestone packed part of the trail on the opposite side to give them plenty of room. Just before I was even with them one of the adults became “airborne” and attacked, “beaking” me between my nose and mouth. Needless to say this led to my first 10 mph bike crash in about 48 years. Half dazed on the ground from the impact I realized that this bird of prey was coming at me again for a second taste and I started screaming and cursing...hoping to wring its damn neck if it came any closer but the fowl suddenly realized its advantage of surprise was now gone and retreated with its family over a nearby hill toward the river.
I looked around and tried to collect myself. I spied my nearby cellphone. The last thing I wanted to do was get on that thing and call for an emergency rescue. I could already picture myself becoming the laughing stock of Western Pennsylvania (“Tough Turkey Turns Tables on Poultry-fed Cyclist”). Still I was in pain and there was blood all over my shirt but I soon realized it was all coming from the wound beneath my nose. My legs seemed OK but both arms and my chest were hurting. The front wheel and the handlebars didn’t look good and I couldn’t tell about the rest of my cycle. Both water bottles had been knocked free but were within reach. I spent about 15 minutes on the ground..my arms didn’t seem to want to assist me in getting up. During this time I was able to determine the rear wheel had a clean spin to it, that the rearview "monocle mirror" on my helmet was destroyed forever and that my glasses had survived intact. After reassembling my belongings I finally got myself to my feet. I took the front wheel between my legs while gripping the handlebars with my hands and straightened it out the way we used to do when we were kids.
I got back on the bike, a little wobbly at first and started heading back toward Dawson. About a mile and a half down the trail I pulled off at a trailside picnic table and rested for a short time while drinking about 10 ounces of water. I decided I had about forty five more minutes of riding left. While I was stopped the first cyclists I had seen all day passed me on their way going South. I gave them a friendly wave.
I returned to the trail and going at about three quarter speed rode the rest of the way back to Dawson. I managed to get the bike apart and loaded in the back of my Malibu Maxx and then slipped myself into the front seat and pulled down the visor mirror to see what I had done to my relatively scar free face. I had acquired a ¾ inch laceration where the turkey had struck me which had stopped bleeding by then. Although using my arms was difficult and the seatbelt hurt on my chest I got on my way for the fifty minute ride home.
I stopped at home long enough to explain to mom why I wouldn’t be bringing lunch in today (we had leftover Pizza we would have eaten tomorrow) and headed over to my local ER.
Finally at the ER 5 + hours since my crash after a series of x-rays of my chest, left shoulder and right elbow it was determined that I hadn’t broken anything but that I was pretty badly bruised up (ribs and joints). They gave me a tetanus shot, a tramadol shot in the butt(which took the edge off some of the pain) and glued my above lip gash back together.
The Doctor also wrote me a prescription for 16 of the biggest percosets I’ve ever seen which he promised I’d be glad I had about 32 hours from now.
Did you know you can get pneumonia from something like this? I have to take 10 deep breaths every hour for the next week to prevent it.
Lesson from this..The next time I see “make way for ducklings” (or turkeys) I’m doing a u-turn and head in the opposite direction.